9 Tips for Writing Steamy Scenes

Gwynn Scheltema.

It’s February, the month for Valentines and all things romantic: love and…sex.

When I have to face writing sex scenes, I sometimes feel like I’m getting undressed in public. I feel like my mother is watching; like everyone will think I do all the things I describe. Do you ever feel that way?

Get over it.

Check out these 9 tips to help you.

Sex is emotion in motion.
~ Mae West

1. Don’t be afraid to write outside your own experience.

Research and write just as you would for any situation you haven’t experienced personally. Read sex scenes by other authors and note which resonate with you. Ask yourself why. I just finished reading Marissa Campbell’s Book, Avelynn. She expertly handles a full range of sexual encounters, from that first romantic kiss to attempted rape and a great deal in between.

2. Treat a sex scene like any action scene.

Have a reason to include it that involves advancing the plot or illuminating character, or developing a relationship.

3. Make your characters human.

Keep your characters human, flawed people, not a larger-than-life Adonis or Aphrodite. While romance has an element of wish fulfillment about it, if you make it so like a fairy tale, some readers won’t believe it.

4. Keep the sex real.

Sex is not always spectacular; it can be boring, mundane, or unsatisfying too. And it doesn’t always have to be completed. Interrupted sex can be quite a tease.

5. Get the timing right.

Don’t let things get hot and heavy in the most unlikely of moments and places in your plot. Don’t shove sex in because it’s been four chapters since the last tryst. Remember tip #2.

6. Get the choreography right.

Not just on a physically level, but on an emotional level too. Physically, make sure your transitions let us know if someone goes from standing to lying, or from facing to spooned. More importantly, let us know their emotional reactions and changes. The physical act by itself is just porn.

7. Be careful of metaphor and simile.

Clichés about “stars exploding“ will only undermine what you are trying to do. Find fresh and appropriate comparisons and don’t hide behind them to avoid being explicit or to add drama. And remember that sex involves all five senses. Use them!

8. Use the correct terms and don’t be offensive.

Research if you have to. If euphemisms pepper your scene, you’ll leave the reader giggling or cringing. Also be aware of the accepted sexual practices of your genre and age group and stay in those boundaries.

9. Keep the scene brief.

Sometimes less is more. Subtle hints are often more effective than graphic description. Give readers enough to satisfy the moment, but leave them wanting more.

Have fun with it

Remember how you felt when you first discovered that French kissing involved touching tongues? As a teen, did you practise on your arm or the mirror? What about your first kiss?

Kisses come in so many forms: passionate, wet, teasing, rough, slow… In 50 words or less, write about a kiss—fun, steamy, chaste…. Post it in the comments below.

[By the way…for a great workshop on characters, check out Ruth’s Character Master Class on March 5.]

Can You Write While Travelling?

Ruth E. Walker. My husband and I were visiting our son, daughter-in-law and grandsons in the Texas Panhandle last month. We had a hotel booked for most of the visit so I thought I might have time to do a bit of writing. After all, during the week, our grandsons were in school and their parents were working. Free time, I thought.
Hah! I’d forgotten how exhausting and complicated travel can be. Most of our “spare time” was spent in busy mode (planning and taking day trips, helping out around the house, etc.) Any other spare time was devoted to recovery mode: sleeping. (Grandparents everywhere will understand this.)

So I didn’t write. At least, not on paper.

The thing about travel is that you experience difference and, for writers, difference is pure inspiration gold. While we have been to Texas a few times in the past few years, it’s still intriguing to see men strolling through the modern Dallas airport, sporting wide-brimmed Stetsons and stylish leather jackets. There’s a kind of Texas-walk — confident and straight-ahead. And Texas talk, too — How y’all doin’? (If there is a group of you, it becomes: How all y’all doin’?)

There’s difference in food. Biscuits and gravy is on almost every menu and Taco Bell Texas figured out how to work it in: get your taco fixings in a tea biscuit. Before ordering iced tea in restaurants, I remember to ask for “sweet tea” or it comes decidedly unsweetened.

And in every Texas hotel we’ve ever stayed at, the waffle irons at the “Breakfast Included” stations are in the shape of the state.

So what does this have to do with writing? Being somewhere different — whether on vacation or on a writing retreat — it tickles your mind and your senses. Sour gas odours from the oil wells. Billboards touting Texas Pecan Company offering nut cracking services. Pecans fresh from my son’s front yard tree (and cracked locally.) The sticky and soft texture of a white tail deer’s tongue and lips taking a carrot from my hand. The quick intake of passengers’ breath when our plane hit strong turbulence coming home.

In short, the senses are on overdrive. For me, that usually results in my imagination working overtime, and it was certainly the case this time.

I’ve come home with an idea for a play. It’s rough. It has nothing to do with Texas. But it does have a lot to do with airplanes that encounter far more than turbulence. I’m excited just thinking about the possibilities of that play, of the characters, of the idea behind it all. Once I finish my current manuscript, I’ll be working on that script. I might even work in something about waffles. And pecans. And maybe even Texas. Or maybe none of it will end up in the play. Just the plane. Or maybe just the turbulence.

Remember that writing is not always about putting words on paper. Sometimes writing is all in your mind, full of inspiration and potential, just waiting its turn to land on your page.

What is Your Definition of Success?

Ruth E. Walker.

We all want success as writers. But what each of us views as “success” will likely differ. Success for one could be simply finding the time to write; for another, it could be seeing their words in print; for someone else, success could be when the awards and accolades start to arrive.

Take two minutes to view this video of Kevin Spacey, multi-award-winning actor, as he speaks about success.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mdW_ihN830

When you are done being inspired by this artist’s statement on what success means to him, consider what success means to you. Make a list of all the positives and negatives related to “success” from your perspective.

Now, work with “success” from the standpoint of what you are writing, or plan to write. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Draft an essay on success.
Make a positive and negative ‘success list’ for your character(s); then write a scene containing one positive and negative success outcome
Brainstorm “success” for as many meanings and ideas that come to you about that particular word; craft a poem or short scene using at least three of your ‘brainstorms’

When you are done, if you still crave more Inspiration, try all of the above with one change. Use the word “failure” as your starting point.

But know this — the word ‘failure’ is just a word. And anyone who continues to seek inspiration and ideas to challenge their writer’s mind is no failure: your success can be measured simply through your desire to explore.

The Gift of Feedback

Ruth E. Walker.

Feedback from colleague writers can be a tremendous help to developing writers. Or it can put good manuscripts off the rails. How do you know comments received in a writing circle or workshop feedback session are useful?

Remember Ruth’s three basic rules of successful writing feedback:

Respect: Give it and get it. All feedback is an offered opinion. You are free to take it or leave it.

Encourage: Never intend to diminish another writer; always offer colleague-to-colleague comments .

Inspire: Go ahead and take risks with your writing but be prepared to hear what may need a second look.

Receiving feedback is an art

respect an honest opinion by not defending your writing
take notes of verbal comments
all feedback is opinion; you may not agree but listen anyway (later on, you may realize that the opinion you dismissed is just what you needed to hear)
all feedback is useful; see above and remember you are free to accept or gracefully decline offered feedback
don’t interrupt; if you need to clarify what is said, make a note and wait for an appropriate spot to ask a question
if feedback is offered in a group session, pay attention; others discussing their opinions about your submission can lead you to exciting discoveries and new ideas

Giving feedback in an art

respect the risk a writer takes in asking for feedback; not everyone is ready for an intense critique so if you are unsure of how much to offer, ask the writer
begin with one positive aspect before offering suggested areas to review
avoid “I like” or “I didn’t like” as much as possible: this isn’t about “liking” something, it is about technique, clarity, logic, development of plot, setting, characters, etc.
focus on words, phrases, rhythms, etc., that stand out – either in a good way, or in a way that doesn’t work; offer suggestions if you can
be specific about interesting words or ideas and material that seems flat/stereotypical
be professional; if you are uncomfortable with the subject, and it affects your ability to critique, it is okay to pass on making any comment

~~~

One-on-one Feedback

September 10. Gwynn Scheltema and Ruth E. Walker are offering the Canadian Authors’ Association, Niagara Branch, a special extra on September 10, 2016. After the 2-hour morning workshop, Finding the Muse and Kindling Your Creative Fire, this dynamic team of creative writing instructors will conduct half-hour one-on-one feedback sessions.

Sessions include:

written feedback from both Gwynn and from Ruth on up to 10 manuscript pages [**see below]
a one-on-one session with either Gwynn or Ruth to discuss the feedback
an opportunity to ask questions, discuss writing plans and potential markets

Interested participants must:

email up to 10 manuscript pages in advance to info@writescape.ca
provide material and payment no later than September 5

Gwynn’s and Ruth’s feedback sessions are a featured cornerstone of their annual writers’ retreat, Spring Thaw. Skilled editors, they excel at finding a writer’s strengths and offering insights to specific areas that can benefit from further development. Because they are also writers, they understand that the best feedback needs to be specific and constructive.

Maximum of 12 participants.

Fee: $30 + HST includes written feedback from both Gwynn and Ruth

$30.00 CAA Niagara Feedback

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$3.90 HST will be added by PayPal at the checkout.

**Standard manuscript page:

double spaced
12 point font – Calibri, Arial or TNR
1 inch margins all round
paginated
name and title in header on each page