sex in writing |

Look for Writescape’s 10 on the 10th for writing tips, advice and inspiration on the 10th of every month. Think of it as Gwynn and Ruth sitting on your shoulder and nudging you along.

Love is powerful and can enrich your characters and add tension to your plot. There’s all kinds of love but this month’s 10 on the 10th, we’re linking it to sex and the many ways you can add it to your story. From sweet to spicy, here are 10 things to consider when you write about love and sex.

1 Think Imagery: Candlelight. Moonlight. Satin. Silk. Moss. Strumming guitar. Sweet violins. Warm ocean breezes. Fur collars. Strawberries. Oil. Remember that the five senses are your best friends in creating emotional connection for your reader: touch, taste, smell, hear & see.

2 Think Relationship: An overworked approach is to pit adversaries against one another who, amazingly, fall in love. Why not reverse it? Take a loving couple and sever their relationship — go big with an unforgivable action or make it a last straw moment. Will they find a path back to each other? Or is someone else waiting in the wings?

love has no logic

3 Think Counterintuitive: Love has no logic and is based on multiple factors that draw two souls together. Or maybe three souls? Ménages a tois exist for a reason. Beyond sex, relationships of any kind are sustained through mutual or sometimes tacit (don’t ask/don’t tell) agreements.

Is it sense or sensibility?

4 Think Sexy: It’s anticipation that works in romance. Humans love to imagine the love-making long before it happens. So give us a flash of ankle, a flush of cheeks or fingertips touching lips in the early stages of the story.

5 Think Words: Words are all part of foreplay. Over dinner or in bed or anywhere in between. Sweet nothings. Hot saucy comments. Think Mae West. “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me. I’ll tell your fortune.” Ah, innuendo…especially innuendo.

6 Think Clothing: Modesty in Victorian times meant the legs of furniture should be covered–oh my, your piano’s legs are showing! Thank goodness we got over that idea. For some, naked is best, but for many, degrees of covering lead to imagining, anticipation and surprise. And don’t forget dressing up and cosplay.

7 Think whole body: Every part of the body can be sexy. Lips, breasts and the usuals all work, but don’t forget feet and fingers, ears and shoulders, backs and throats. The body is always “in play” when it’s love, including the insides. Tingling tummies, salivary glands on overdrive and temperatures rising.

8 Think Location: The forbidden element heightens excitement, so sex in public places, hidden away or new places makes for a different dynamic. In safe, well-known environments, something else needs to create the spark.

**Speed things up…or sloooooow it right down?**

9 Think time: Is this a quickie, or long and languid? Making a day of repeated fun or trying to fit it in before someone or something interrupts? For that matter, what about interrupted sex? What if one partner wants to linger and the other wants things over as soon as possible?

10 Think age and experience: First love or a long-term couple looking to spice things up? Simple sex or toys? From innocent kiss to full-on S&M, there is so much to choose from. Switch it up depending on age, experience, circumstance, motive and genre.

Gwynn Scheltema.

It’s February, the month for Valentines and all things romantic: love and…sex.

When I have to face writing sex scenes, I sometimes feel like I’m getting undressed in public. I feel like my mother is watching; like everyone will think I do all the things I describe. Do you ever feel that way?

Get over it.

Check out these 9 tips to help you.

Sex is emotion in motion.
~ Mae West

1. Don’t be afraid to write outside your own experience.

Research and write just as you would for any situation you haven’t experienced personally. Read sex scenes by other authors and note which resonate with you. Ask yourself why. I just finished reading Marissa Campbell’s Book, Avelynn. She expertly handles a full range of sexual encounters, from that first romantic kiss to attempted rape and a great deal in between.

2. Treat a sex scene like any action scene.

Have a reason to include it that involves advancing the plot or illuminating character, or developing a relationship.

3. Make your characters human.

Keep your characters human, flawed people, not a larger-than-life Adonis or Aphrodite. While romance has an element of wish fulfillment about it, if you make it so like a fairy tale, some readers won’t believe it.

4. Keep the sex real.

Sex is not always spectacular; it can be boring, mundane, or unsatisfying too. And it doesn’t always have to be completed. Interrupted sex can be quite a tease.

5. Get the timing right.

Don’t let things get hot and heavy in the most unlikely of moments and places in your plot. Don’t shove sex in because it’s been four chapters since the last tryst. Remember tip #2.

6. Get the choreography right.

Not just on a physically level, but on an emotional level too. Physically, make sure your transitions let us know if someone goes from standing to lying, or from facing to spooned. More importantly, let us know their emotional reactions and changes. The physical act by itself is just porn.

7. Be careful of metaphor and simile.

Clichés about “stars exploding“ will only undermine what you are trying to do. Find fresh and appropriate comparisons and don’t hide behind them to avoid being explicit or to add drama. And remember that sex involves all five senses. Use them!

8. Use the correct terms and don’t be offensive.

Research if you have to. If euphemisms pepper your scene, you’ll leave the reader giggling or cringing. Also be aware of the accepted sexual practices of your genre and age group and stay in those boundaries.

9. Keep the scene brief.

Sometimes less is more. Subtle hints are often more effective than graphic description. Give readers enough to satisfy the moment, but leave them wanting more.

Have fun with it

Remember how you felt when you first discovered that French kissing involved touching tongues? As a teen, did you practise on your arm or the mirror? What about your first kiss?

Kisses come in so many forms: passionate, wet, teasing, rough, slow… In 50 words or less, write about a kiss—fun, steamy, chaste…. Post it in the comments below.

[By the way…for a great workshop on characters, check out Ruth’s Character Master Class on March 5.]

sex in writing

10 Ways To Write About Love & Sex